Do You Feel Invisible?
When you feel like no one cares what you are doing you need to realize that you are not doing it for them but for Him.
~~Listen to what this lovely woman has to say about being invisible~~
" Should Kids Take CHURCH Seriously?"
Kids are always filled with energy and are always ready to play a game at any time of the day. Kids need attention and are not able to give attention for long periods of time like an adult. So questions have come up in parents minds about what church should mean to their kids and how much is too much.
We have been learning in the services lately that we need to use our intelligent faith and when we reason this is when God gives us ideas to give us direction.
-Jeremiah 3:15 and: Then I will give you shepherds after my
own heart,
who will lead you with knowledge and
own heart,
who will lead you with knowledge and
understanding.
And if use our intelligence then we realize that our main focus is to reach salvation for ourselves then for our loved ones.
reason: if you are in a pool barely floating how can you save a loved
one from drowning. If you try to save yourself
one from drowning. If you try to save yourself
and the other individual at the same time; chances are
that no one will be saved.
that no one will be saved.
If our main goal is to be saved then we have to understand that seeking for the Holy Spirit for yourself is IMPORTANT if we want to be able to save all of our family and loved ones.
So this is where KIDSZONE fits in to your goal for yourself and family. The Kidszone was created for two main reasons.
1.) In order for the parents to be able to focus in God when they attend the services. (this is for your spiritual growth)
2.) It's to guide your children in following the steps of Jesus at an early age. Using games, movies, plays, coloring etc...
- Proverbs 22:6:Train a child in the way he should go, and
when he is old he will not turn from it.
That is why it is a GREAT idea if parents bring the kids to KidsZone so the parents can focus on God and not get distracted by their kids. And, their kids not be distracted by the parents. Let's be honest adult services are too dry for kids and if you want your kids to understand who God is and what church is for in a way that kids will absorb then bring them to KidsZone.
I will tell you one of my testimonies. As a child my father would tell me stories from the bible and one time he told me that if someone took their own life they would not be able to go to heaven because only God has the right to take a life or not. And if one commits suicide they are going over God's authority. Later in my teen years I became depressed and I realized how easily one could take ones life. But when these evil thoughts came to my head I remembered what my father told me. I can tell you no matter how horrible I felt at night I never tempted to take my own life. Because of this one time conversion that I had when I was a child I am still here today.
Going to church is not only for adults but also NEED to pray and do face many obstacles in their little lives. They are the symbol of purity and the devil loves making them a target. For example bullying. Kidszone is their church. It's where they can pray to God so their worries and troubles will go away.
So next time you go to church bring your kids and bring them to KidsZone!
" A Message for All Mothers, Daughters, and Women!"
~This is a powerful message on how a mom can change and transform her family and kids to victorious people. But most importantly how to have a happy family.~
"How Are You Dealing with your Stepchildren?"
-These are helpful tips to help your family:
1.) Adults need to realize that when they decide to get married to a person who already has kids; you are not just marrying that person. You are marrying the whole package.
2.) You have to realize it will depend how old the children are to figure out how long it will take for them to accept you.
3.) You need to realize that children and teenagers are both called adolescence. Meaning they all have the sense of needing role models in order to become adults. Just because they say that they don't need you they actually do.
4.) You need to put yourself in their shoes and see where they are coming from to better your relationship with them and help them trust you. Some kids come from situations where their former father or mother was abusive or passed away. Children (people) don't react to things without reason.
5.) Make sure that the child or children know that you do not want to replace their parent. Inform them that because you love their dad or mom you care for them and only want to help them become great grownups.
6.) Discuss with your spouse and your spouse's ex how they want you to discipline their children. This will help do there will not be any lines that will be crossed. Since you will be part of team with the parents it is necessary for you to back the parents up with the ground rules that they have placed. This will help the child or children not feel that their world as completely turned upside down.
7.) Communicate with the child or children honestly why they have to follow what you say. This will show them that you are not trying to replace their parent's job but certain rules have to be followed because it's for their own good. The child or children will show respect to the stepdad or mom because they will feel that you are validating their voice. This will change your step child or children feelings towards you in a positive manner because throughout the divorce or one parents' death their desires were not heard.But it was heard by you at that time.
8.) Be VERY patient and allow time to heal the wounds.
If you have any useful advice please comment in our facebook account!
If you have any useful advice please comment in our facebook account!
The Importance of Dads
(The Involved Father) -link
Fathers are just as essential to healthy child development as mothers. Psychology Today explained, "Fatherhood turns out to be a complex and unique phenomenon with huge consequences for the emotional and intellectual growth of children."1
Erik Erikson, a pioneer in the world of child psychology, asserts that a father's love and a mother's love are qualitatively different. Fathers "love more dangerously" because their love is more "expectant, more instrumental" than a mother's love.2 A father brings unique contributions to the job of parenting a child that no one else can replicate. Following are some of the most compelling ways that a father’s involvement makes a positive difference in a child's life.
1.)Fathers parent differently.
Fathering expert Dr. Kyle Pruett explains that fathers have a distinct style of communication and interaction with children. By eight weeks of age, infants can tell the difference between their mother’s and father’s interaction with them.
This diversity, in itself, provides children with a broader, richer experience of contrasting relational interactions. Whether they realize it or not, children are learning, by sheer experience, that men and women are different and have different ways of dealing with life, other adults and children. This understanding is critical for their development.
2.)Fathers play differently.
Fathers tickle more, they wrestle, and they throw their children in the air (while mother says . . . "Not so high!"). Fathers chase their children, sometimes as playful, scary "monsters."
Fathering expert John Snarey explains that children who roughhouse with their fathers learn that biting, kicking and other forms of physical violence are not acceptable.3 They learn self-control by being told when "enough is enough" and when to settle down. Girls and boys both learn a healthy balance between timidity and aggression.
3.)Fathers build confidence.
Go to any playground and listen to the parents. Who is encouraging kids to swing or climb just a little higher, ride their bike just a little faster, throw just a little harder? Who is encouraging kids to be careful? Mothers protect and dads encourage kids to push the limits.
Either of these parenting styles by themselves can be unhealthy. One can tend toward encouraging risk without consideration of consequences. The other tends to avoid risk, which can fail to build independence and confidence. Together, they help children remain safe while expanding their experiences and increasing their confidence.
4.)Fathers communicate differently.
A major study showed that when speaking to children, mothers and fathers are different. Mothers will simplify their words and speak on the child's level. Men are not as inclined to modify their language for the child. The mother's way facilitates immediate communication; the father's way challenges the child to expand her vocabulary and linguistic skills — an important building block of academic success.
5.)Fathers discipline differently.
Educational psychologist Carol Gilligan tells us that fathers stress justice, fairness and duty (based on rules), while mothers stress sympathy, care and help (based on relationships). Fathers tend to observe and enforce rules systematically and sternly, teaching children the consequences of right and wrong. Mothers tend toward grace and sympathy, providing a sense of hopefulness. Again, either of these disciplinary approaches by themselves is not good, but together, they create a healthy, proper balance.
6.)Fathers prepare children for the real world.
Involved dads help children see that attitudes and behaviors have consequences. For instance, fathers are more likely than mothers to tell their children that if they are not nice to others, kids will not want to play with them. Or, if they don't do well in school, they will not get into a good college or secure a desirable job. Fathers help children prepare for the reality and harshness of the world.
7.)Fathers provide a look at the world of men.
Men and women are different. They eat differently. They dress differently. They cope with life differently. Girls and boys who grow up with a father are more familiar and secure with the curious world of men.
Girls with involved, married fathers are more likely to have healthier relationships with the opposite sex because they learn from their fathers how proper men act toward women. They know which behaviors are inappropriate.
They also have a healthy familiarity with the world of men — they don't wonder how a man's facial stubble feels or what it's like to be hugged by strong arms. This knowledge builds emotional security and safety from the exploitation of predatory males.
Boys who grow up with dads are less likely to be violent. They have their masculinity affirmed and learn from their fathers how to channel their masculinity and strength in positive ways. Fathers help sons understand proper male sexuality, hygiene and behavior in age-appropriate ways. As noted sociologist David Popenoe explains, "Fathers are far more than just 'second adults' in the home. Involved fathers — especially biological fathers — bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring."4
Principles to follow:
These three principles will help you be a pro-active and more powerful role model for your teen.
• Be intentional.
• Share your thinking.
• Develop a strategy to create on going dialogue.
Leave a Legacy (Action Steps)
1. Be Intentional-- Retain your teen's respect; know what will empower your teen to be self sufficient. Your job is to launch him into adult responsibilities. Your life becomes living example for his actions, life skills and reactions. He will learn to be a better person from you. Are you being the person that you want him to be? Be careful with your speech; actions and conception for they will be mimicked by your teens.
2. Share your thinking-- If you share your thoughts you are giving your teen the tools to think like you. The more you share; the more you transmit your matured thought to their immature brain. You are building neuro pathways in the brain to their developing prefrontal cortex: the adult rational portion of the brain. Your prudent pattern of thought equips your teen to think and act more adult without having experience on the topic through trial and error. Continue teaching; your children are listening, even when they don't respond.
3. Develop a strategy to create ongoing dialogue. An intentional strategy for ongoing dialogue that works: Encourage your teen to add their paper or topics to the pile and as you finish dinner, discuss the articles. Get your teen's opinion and give yours.
As parents, we want our children to be a better people, yet they need our love and support. We cannot blame them if they will not become something we expect them to be. Many parents expect perfect children when they should have been perfect parents themselves first.
